sunday dusk

i think i should get sober. this party life is just not cool anymore, it makes me lay in bed at 4:30 on a sunday afternoon. and i want to sleep but i don't bc i'm afraid of being awake at 4am. there is so much i should do right now but i can't. i just want to be happy. i feel so uninspired and very unenthusiastic about anything in life except watching gossip girl on my computer. i got a gig writing for refinery29 but i don't even have anything to offer bc i just don't care. maybe i should just sleep. and sleep and sleep and sleep. the light of dusk through my blinds is so pretty, but it only lasts for 20 mins.