movie pitches, bitches

Awesomicity
Ashton Kutcher and Keanu Reeves are two down and out magicians looking for a spark of magic in their lives, something they like to call: awesomicity.

Duality
Famous philosophers Kurt Russell and Nick Nolte find themselves in a battle of wits with Patrick Swayze and Gary Busey.

Fido!
Juliette Lewis is a cop on the edge, Nicolas Cage is a lawyer with a dangerous secret. While being chased by the mob, this mis-matched odd couple come to realize that their dog is indeed a time traveler. Mobsters played by Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen, and Emilio Estevez.

No You Didn't
Jack Black is on a mission to get revenge on every person that has ever slighted him. Ever. Christopher Walken makes a cameo as the doctor that slapped his ass during birth.

Uh-Oh!
Mathew Perry is seeking out new members for his organization. How can he do this when he's trapped in Africa and he's the Grand Wizard of the KKK? Uh-Oh!

Not Without My Wife
Joseph Stalin is a man torn between controlling communist Russia and his fat drunk cheating spouse. Starring Robin Williams and Rosie O'Donnell.

Being John Malkovich 2: Being Ben Affleck
No one dares go through the door.

Blackass
Filmed Jackass style, Damon Wayans finds some elaborate and some not so elaborate ways to kick his little brothers in their nut sacks.